Saturday, January 17, 2015

Journey to FIT—Week 7

Originally posted on November 1, 2014 on

As mentioned in last week’s post, this week I’ll be telling you why I decided to join an intensive fitness program. But first...

1) I said in Week 5 that super-sets were the most torturous thing on the planet. Again, I stand corrected. It’s iso-sets. It’s okay FXB, you don’t have to keep proving me wrong. I would make some sort of smart-a comment about combining supers and isos, but the last time I did that about supers and burpees too many instructors took it as a challenge!

2) I made it through Halloween, passing out CHOCOLATE, and not putting a single piece in my mouth!! That, my friends, is amazing. But today is Fun Day—watch out little fun-sized Butterfinger, I do believe you will be my first fun-of-choice victim for today!

Now, on to this week’s post. Last week I mentioned that I’ve learned to love myself the way I am, and that I’m happier than I’ve been in a long time. So why put myself through burpees, super-sets, iso-sets, hydrants, and a whole bunch of other painful exercises if I don’t need to lose weight to be happy? I’ll give you three good reasons (in no particular order).
I love watches.

For some reason, buying watches just makes me happy. Last year my daughter had to count up the number of watches in our house as part of her math homework. I think her teacher may have thought she counted wrong given the ridiculous amount of watches I still own.

Swatch Watch 2
I do believe I can thank (blame) Swatch for this particular obsession. As a kid I always had one on, and would often be seen wearing two or three at a time. The colors, the face protectors—ah, I wish I still had them. I do believe I even had a Swatch wall clock. (PS - at one time I owned the third watch from the left in this photo. I think that was my all-time favorite Swatch watch; and no, these are not all my watches. I'd like to thank the Internet for the throwback photo.)

As I got older, the Swatch obsession transferred to Fossil watches. I absolutely loved the prism crystals. They made it a pain to change the battery, but they sure were pretty. I didn’t wear more than one at once, but I did have multiple watches of different band colors to match my various outfits. Over the years, this obsession has continued.

Then something very sad happened. I gained weight. Most of the watches I love are made for people with smaller wrists. A few years ago I was feeling nostalgic and wanted to buy a new Fossil watch. I followed rabbit-hole after rabbit-hole on the Internet until I found the one I wanted. I was so excited when it arrived, until I discovered it was a fixed-band watch—meaning no adjustable holes (I’m not sure how I missed this little fact in the product description). I tried it on anyway and it pinched me hard in protest. I was so bummed. I’m now able to get it to close without pinching me, but it’s still too tight to rotate even a millimeter. I like my watches to be loose enough that I can rotate them. Especially when typing on the computer so I’m not resting my wrist on the buckle.

And of course the watches ‘in my size’ are not that fun or attractive. Buying one is like settling, and it’s not the same. I’ve had to resort to wearing mostly sport watches (but at least they do come in some fun colors/styles).

I’ve focused here on watches, but it’s really the same with so many other items—clothes, socks, jewelry, sandals, roller coasters, turnstiles, airplane seats, armed chairs at restaurants, on and on and on. All these things are designed to fit people that conform to what society has determined as ‘normal’ sized. Don’t get me wrong—I’m not saying it’s some sort of conspiracy and I’m not trying to shame manufacturers for neglecting the fat person. I’m just stating a fact. I actually understand this conformity for everything except the clothing/jewelry items. I mean seriously, we do have to wear clothes and it’s not too much to ask to be able to feel pretty/stylish in those clothes. You should have seen the hoops I had to crawl through (because let’s be real, at that point I wasn’t jumping) just to get workout clothes when I started FXB. I often even have difficulty finding appropriate clothing at the ‘big girl’ stores—because let’s face it, I don’t want to wear clothes that are mostly see-through or that cinch across my very wide backside. I’m not sure when clothing manufactures will learn that you can’t just take a design made for someone who is a size 2 and multiply it by 10. Different body types, people!

There’s lots of chatter on the Internet these days about positive body image, especially for women. It’s wonderful to see, and I’d like to think that some day women of larger sizes will have more appropriate shopping options than they do today. Until then, I just want to wear a darn watch that I love. So if I have to lose weight to do it, then so be it.
I want to embarrass my daughter at Breakfast Club.

This of course assumes that our years of brain washing will have her wanting to attend Purdue University. For those not familiar, Breakfast Club is a tradition of going out at the butt-crack of dawn to stand in line for the bars. You bar hop all morning until the football game, and then go pass out in the bleachers. Oh, and to make it even more fun you dress up in—well, in whatever you want.

Approximately 13 years from now I want to be at Breakfast Club with my daughter, dancing and singing and acting like I belong. I might even dress up. Then I will pass out in the bleachers during the football game (sorry Mom, it won’t be the first time).

Right now, I actually don’t have health related issues due to my weight. As you learned last week I have hormone issues, but I don’t have medical problems as a result of being overweight. I don’t have sleep apnea, or high blood pressure, or diabetes. My bad cholesterol has been high, however my good cholesterol is also high so they tend to balance out. Heart disease—I can’t comment on this one because I don’t know. I do know that while my doctors want me to lose weight, I’ve never had to have the conversation of, “you have to lose weight because of all these horrific things happening to your body.”

I am logical enough to know that just because it’s not causing issues now, it doesn’t mean that it will stay that way forever. I want to remain healthy. I want to have several more years in me.

I want to feel good enough in 13 years to make a fool of myself in a college bar.
I don’t want to embarrass my daughter now.

My daughter is eight. Unfortunately, she’s at the age where kids are already getting pretty mean. I thought I had a few more years to armor up for the girl-drama, but I was sadly mistaken. Kids tease other kids about anything and everything. While my heart breaks each and every time my daughter cries over some mean thing another kid said to/about her, I know that she’s learning required life skills. She needs to learn how to appropriately stand up for herself, and to ignore the other kid’s behavior.

However, I never ever want her to be teased because of me. I don’t want to ever put her in a position to feel that she needs to defend me because some other kid called me fat (or worse). It’s unfortunate, but it happens.

At home we teach her that God made everyone just the way they are supposed to be, and everyone should be treated with respect. However, we can’t control what other kids learn at home. We can’t control what they say to our daughter. She loves me unconditionally, and because of that she would be hurt if someone else said something mean about me. She is my world, and I’d do anything to protect her. Even if it requires six intensive days of burpees, hydrants, super-sets, and iso-sets...and the Ring of Fire that was sprung on us on Friday!

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