So you’ve read my week 1 summary, and you’re wondering how I’m doing this week. If you’re in a hurry and need one quick statement to sum up week 2, then here you go:
The honeymoon is over.
This was proven each day in week 2, just when I thought the workouts couldn’t possibly get any tougher. What are some other things I learned this week?
1) Fun Day is not the enemy.
If you recall from last week, I was dreading Fun Day. I was worried that if I allowed myself to eat anything I wanted then I wouldn’t be able to stop. Well, I bought my chocolate, went home, and sat down at my desk. I opened a Cadbury egg and... sat there. After a few seconds passed I realized the humor of the situation. For so long I had wished I could be in a room with chocolate and not devour it all within a matter of seconds. There I was, with not only permission to eat that chocolate egg but also with the encouragement to do so, and I couldn’t pop it in my mouth. Of course, I did end up eating it. And then I went all out on Fun Day with other things I hadn’t eaten all week—Lean Cuisine pizza for lunch, Weight Watcher fudge bar for a snack, and cereal for dinner! You might be thinking, “What’s fun about that??” If so, that’s OK. It was my Fun Day, not yours :-)
When my husband and daughter returned home from their trip that night, it was getting late. My daughter had brought me a cookie from Subway. However, by that time I didn’t want to eat any more. I knew I couldn’t eat it the next day, so I had to make a choice—listen to my inside voice that was screaming, “IT’S A COOKIE! EAT IT!”, or not eat it because I didn’t really want to. Pre-FXB I would have eaten that cookie. However, post-FXB-me decided that I didn’t have to eat it just because it was Fun Day. My daughter was only slightly disappointed—she felt much better when she realized it meant she could eat it!
I went to bed on Fun Day and woke up the next morning—right back on track as if Fun Day had never happened. Amazing!
2) I miss my schedule.
One of the common descriptions people give of me is that I’m extremely organized. I’ve always been this way. I remember way back when I was a little-C (and now I’m a big-C...) and had a paper route. The people on my route constantly told me that they could set their watch by my paper deliveries. I like to have a schedule, and I function so much better when it’s going according to plan.
I am still very off schedule. The upside is that I’ve figured out a way to get my breakfast eaten first thing in the morning and still make my daughter’s lunch! So mornings are better, but I have to figure out the rest of it—grocery shopping, cleaning, laundry, WRITING! I’ll get there. Hopefully I’ll have better news for you in next week’s update.
3) I like instant gratification.
Yeah, so maybe I’ve known this about myself for a long time. However, this week it was highlighted. I’ve been working hard. I’ve been eating what I’m supposed to eat.
Yet I can’t step on a scale!
I need to know. I want my instant gratification that pats my back and tells me my progress!
Sigh.
I’ve owned up to the fact that this is just a part of who I am, and I won’t ever be able to change it. As a result, I’ve decided that I need to find new methods of instant gratification. For example, on Friday I felt as if there was no way I could do even one plank jack (of course, first I had to learn what a plank jack was). Instead of believing I couldn’t do it, I told myself to do at least five of them. I was able to do 10. This is instant gratification for me, not only because I doubled my goal but because I did them when I didn’t think I could!
So now I’m trying to pay attention at each class, counting how many of each exercise I’m able to do before I collapse. My goal is to push myself to do more/go longer the next time.
4) I am as tough as I thought I was.
I’ve always known that I was tough—that I could work hard and push myself farther than others might think I could go. I’ve never looked at myself as weak, or unable to do anything I set my mind to. Yet, somehow over the last few years I’ve let myself be afraid of the ‘what if.’
What if I’m wrong?
What if I do this and it doesn’t work?
What if I hurt myself?
What if I embarrass myself?
What if my medical issues are too big of a roadblock?
Two small words that can do so much damage. Once I pushed passed all the ‘what ifs’ I realized that I am just as tough as I always believed. Regardless of the ‘what ifs’, I know I’m going to come out the other side of this 10 weeks feeling stronger and better.
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