Monday, February 13, 2017

5 Unsung Benefits of Exercising



I’m sure you’ve read an article or two about the benefits of exercising. Besides the obvious benefits to your health, other perks often mentioned include: going up a flight of stairs without getting winded, having the energy to play with your kids/grandkids/niece/nephew/dog-who-thinks-he’s-a-kid/etc., improved skin, and lower stress.

That’s all great, and I love it. But there are other benefits that are just as important no one’s talking. Well, it’s a good thing you’ve got me. Here are a few of my unsung benefits of exercising.

1) Sing, Sing, Baby
To my daughter’s dismay, I love to sing. Like many others, I perform best in my car. I’ve got the car-jam down by now. However, some songs are a bit trickier than others. Prior to regular exercise, singing/rapping along with artists such as Eminem was usually a lightheaded experience. I either missed half the words as I sucked in air, or I turned into a red-faced balloon as I attempted to reach the lyrical break before taking my next breath. Not such a good thing for my car-based performances. However, regular exercise gave me better endurance. Forget about how increased endurance benefits me going up a flight of stairs—it’s much more fun to not get winded during a wicked rap song. So break out that karaoke machine and take your turn trying to be The Real Slim Shady.

2) Poppin’ a Squat
There comes a time in almost everyone’s life when they are presented with a very difficult choice—hold it until you’re in pain or use the disgusting Port-a-pot/John/loo/whatever-you-call-it. The smell, the unmentionables covering every surface, the lack of sanitizer to dunk your entire body into after usage . . . [shiver] It’s no surprise I’d rather hold it. However, when holding turns into a risk of an embarrassing accident, I go in and hold my breath while attempting to hover. It’s a difficult and scary endeavor. Thankfully, regular exercise has saved my bladder. As mentioned in the first point above, my ability to hold my breath is substantially better so I can suck it in without fear of passing out and falling into the pit. In addition, I have a better ability to hold my squat, regardless if it’s #1 or #2 calling, without touching any of the surfaces.

3) Load It Up
When I get home from a shopping trip, I have this overwhelming need to carry all the bags into the house in one trip. I’m pretty sure I’m not alone on this crazy personal shopping challenge (you know who you are). I’m not sure where this compulsion stems from, but it probably has something to do with proving I didn’t really buy that much if I can carry it all in one trip. It’s always been difficult and not without risk. There is usually that one bag that slips slowly down my arm until I’m holding on with nothing but a quivering pinky. But now my arms are solid. I just channel my ISO bicep curl hold and load up. Now all I have to worry about is not nicking the walls as I enter the house fully loaded . . .

4) Pigpen Pride
I went through this difficult hormone struggle a few years ago. One of my many challenges was heat intolerance. Basically, I couldn’t regulate my body temperature. I had to take my showers at night because if I did it in the morning my body temperature would be too elevated while getting ready for work. I’d sweat profusely just walking from my car to my desk. I couldn’t wear coats in the winter or I’d get so hot I’d get light-headed. I’d get so embarrassed whenever I was in a room full of people and felt the sweat run lines down my face and back—just because I was standing still. That particular issue has been resolved (yeah!), but I still sweat when working out. I usually look as though I’ve just finished the She’s a Dream dance from Flash Dance. The difference is now I wear it with pride. I’ve even gone to the store after a workout. How is this a benefit, you might ask? Less embarrassment = better self-confidence. If anyone turns their nose up to me I just smile and say, “You smell that? That’s the smell of my hard work.”

5) Go Ahead, Make My Day
Back in my college days at Purdue, one of my constant possessions was keychain mace. Most girls had them. I often had to walk home at night, sometimes through dimly lit streets, and the mace was a necessary safety precaution. I remember this one time . . . it was late, the street was dark, I was walking home with my finger on the mace trigger as usual. I wasn’t far from my apartment when suddenly I heard rapid footsteps coming toward me from behind. I spun around, mace raised. The poor guy about had a heart attack. He threw up his hands and pointed to my left, telling me he was sorry to scare me and he was going over there. I think he learned a valuable lesson that night—no matter how late you are, never EVER run up behind a girl at night. These days I don’t walk down many dark streets, but when I do I don’t feel the need for my old keychain mace. I’ve got a wicked back-fist. And if that fails, I can spin and finish with my powerful jab-cross.

I hope you have all benefited from these unsung benefits as well. Feel free to leave a comment and tell me some of yours!

~ Carrie


Tuesday, November 1, 2016

Just Eat the Duds



I recognize I haven’t written about my Binge Eating Disorder (BED) since the start of September. I had promised a regular series called ‘Breaking Binge’ to help you all understand my BED a bit better. My intention had been to post a topic once a month; however, I’ve struggled to keep that pace. Partly because I’m not really sure where to start. The logical part of my brain wants there to be this clear linear progression from point A to point B where I can take you through my journey in a streamlined order. I quickly learned that’s not how this is going to work.

The other reason is pretty simple—it’s still difficult for me to open up about this stuff.

Well, I’ve never let a challenge keep me down for long. It’s time to take a deep breath and dive in.

If you don’t suffer from BED, or know anyone who does, it can be difficult to understand. There are lots of great sites available to explain the symptoms of BED (here’s a good one), but what is it really like? I’ve decided for this series I will select one of the symptoms from the list and take you inside the mind of a binger. My hope is to let those who do suffer know they are not alone while helping those who don’t suffer from it understand why this disorder is so emotionally draining.

Today I’ve selected one of the symptoms I struggle with the most:
  • Feelings of extreme guilt, shame, or embarrassment about my weight or how I eat



My Weight

It has taken me a very long time to overcome some of the embarrassment and shame I carry with me about my weight. Being overweight is a difficult vice to have. I can’t hide it from others. It’s there every day, front and center, for anyone to judge. I’ve had hurtful comments said to me and behind my back. I’ve seen the memes people share and like on social media (like the one telling the fat person to stop using the handicap space and just and park at the back of the lot and do jumping jacks on the way in). I’ve had innocent kids ask me, “Why are your arms so big?” It takes a lot to just smile and respond with, “Because I’m so strong.” You don’t have to look far to realize society doesn’t like fat people. We are judged and we are determined to be less than our worth. We are assumed to be lazy and selfish. Why would I not be ashamed of being overweight?

Here’s an example of how embarrassment rules my life at times. A couple years ago I went to Gatlinburg, Tennessee with some friends for a fun weekend. The girls decided they wanted to go on his mountainside roller coaster. I got in line with them, but then my chest started to constrict. I felt as though I couldn’t pull in a full lung’s worth of air. My palms started to sweat. It wasn’t because I was scared of the ride. It was because I was scared I wouldn’t fit in the seat. I imagined all the looks of pity and disgust from the other people still in line that would be thrown my way if I tried to get in but didn’t fit. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t face that possible embarrassment. Then I was mad at myself for letting my weight hold me back. I cried back at the cabin, but lucky I had been surrounded by amazing friends who helped me let it go—at least for the night.

This panic seizes me often. Squeezing through tight spaces. Turnstiles. Airplane seats. Stadium seating. Movie theater chairs. Really, the thought of having to fit into any kind of chair that contains side arms sends my heart into rapid palpitations.

I’m getting better. The voice that tells me to try is starting to become louder and stronger than the voice that tells me to run. And if I don’t quite fit, I try really hard to not feel ashamed.

What I Eat

The feeling of shame or guilt around what I eat is proving very difficult to overcome. I have this constant list in my head and every food item falls to either the left or the right—good or bad. I stress over it every time I eat. I’ll do a post at some point in the future about my ‘good or bad’ food obsession, but here I want to focus on the feelings of guilt and shame that come with those choices.

Back in May, we drove down to my dad’s house in Louisiana. We wanted to shorten our very long drive as much as possible, so we packed the car with loads of healthy snacks. On the drive back home, I was tired of the same old foods. I wanted something different, so I headed into the convenience store on one of our stops. I’m not exaggerating when I say I took at least 15 minutes, wandering through the store, trying to figure out what I should get. The things I really wanted fell on my ‘bad’ list and I usually would never eat them in front of other people. I stood agonizing in front of the bags of Chex mix when my husband walked over. He looked over my shoulder and said, “Huh, I didn’t know they still made Bugles.” He then snatched a bag and walked off.

I wanted to scream. I wanted to stomp my food and ask why it was so easy for him to just grab that bag of Bugles. Sure, he maybe had a fleeting thought about if they were healthy or not, but the bottom line is he didn’t have to spend 15 minutes agonizing over his decision. And I’m quite certain he didn’t feel guilty about it the entire time he ate them (as I did with my bag of Chex mix). His food choice probably left his mind by the next day. I’m still thinking about it 5 months later.

Another incident happened a couple months ago when I went to the movies. I was on my own, which is fine. I actually don’t mind going to the movies by myself once in a while. It’s good for me to take myself on a date occasionally. Anyway, it was fun day, which meant I didn’t have to feel the guilt of what I would eat. My biggest struggle was if I wanted to eat popcorn or candy. I settled on candy and stopped by the gas station on the way so I didn’t have to play an arm and a leg for a box of Milk Duds. I entered the theater and looked for a seat. I sat down with 3 open chairs to my right and 2 to my left. Two people came in and sat to my right, still leaving one open seat on that side. I was happy—I’m a big girl and movie theater chairs are not always nice to large people. I don’t like feeling as though I need to fold into myself the entire time so I don’t brush shoulders with strangers.

As the lights dimmed, I opened my purse to get my Duds. Before I could pop open the box, a couple sat down in the two empty seats to my left. I froze. I seriously could not eat those damn Milk Duds. I felt the lady next to me would be thinking, “She doesn’t need to eat those. Doesn’t she have any self-control?” It took all my remaining strength to focus on the movie and not the fact that I couldn’t eat my box of Milk Duds just because someone sat down next to me. You see, it’s not a coincidence I waited until the lights dimmed to reach for the box in the first place. I wanted the cover of darkness to hide the fact that I was eating something ‘bad’. But someone sitting right next to me would be able to see, even in the darkness. In my mind, I would be judged. I felt ashamed. I felt I had no right to eat those Duds because I was already too large to be ‘acceptable’.

I analyzed the situation the entire way home while eating my Milk Duds in the privacy of my own car. I had worked hard at the gym all week. I hadn’t binged. I had ‘earned’ that treat, but once again I let my guilt and shame take control of the situation. I allowed myself to believe something that may or may not have been true. I allowed myself to care more about what someone else might think of me rather than what I thought of myself.

I’ve been working really hard at trying to establish a more healthy relationship with food. I know that in order to maintain a healthy lifestyle I need to eat healthy foods. As a result, I will always have to consider the nutritional value of food and whether or not I should eat it. But my hope is that I can get to a point where I don't obsess over it. I need to be able to let go of the guilt and shame. I need to move from “I’m a bad person for eating this.” to “Eating this won’t help me make my goal, so if I do eat it then I need to compensate in another way.”

I have a lot of weight I’d like to lose, but I know the largest weight I carry is from guilt and shame. That has to go first. Then it will be easier for me to focus on the physical pounds I want to shed.

Last night my daughter went through her Halloween candy. She pulled out a small box of Milk Duds and handed it to me. I thought about eating them but put the box down to save for my next fun day. I’d like to say I was making a ‘good’ choice, but the honesty is that I had already had a few small pieces of candy (in private) and I didn’t want to eat them in front anyone. It wasn’t fun day and I technically wasn’t allowed to eat them. A minute or so later, my daughter handed me the box again—opened.

I took it as a sign and I ate the Duds.

~ Carrie


Saturday, October 1, 2016

Meet my FXB Instructors: Flash


Flash: a.k.a. Sarah B.























Sarah B. holds a special place in my FXB heart (and my regular heart for that matter). We joined FXB on the same day, and she became my first steady bag partner. Anyone who knows Sarah well would assume the nickname Flash comes from this guy:



But that’s not the reason. Nope, not at all. I had promised her I wouldn’t base my nickname for her on a sloth, and a promise is a promise ;)

That takes us to this Flash as a possibility:



While Miss Sassy Sarah is quick on the bag, that’s not the source of her nickname either. So what’s left? This guy.



That’s right—Flash Gordon, baby!

Here’s a link to the movie’s theme song in case you want to play it while reading this post. It will take your reading experience to an epic level.

I know I run the risk that my sassy friend is too young to connect with Flash Gordon, but that’s not important. What’s important is that I defend my assessment. (here’s a link to a movie recap for those not in the know) 

Let’s take a closer look at that movie theme song by Queen. The lines are a bit out of order, but it’s my blog which means my rules.

“King of the impossible”
Sarah wouldn’t hesitate to tell you she didn’t expect to still be at FXB after 2 years. Not because she couldn’t do it, but because she didn’t think it would be her kind of thing. Yet, not only is she still at FXB kicking butt and taking names, but she’s a coach and an instructor! AND she completed a Spartan race last year! Not ‘impossible’ enough for you? Then check her out on the days she gets to the gym before 7am. That girl does not like early mornings, but she’ll do it for the people!


“No one but the pure at heart may find the golden grail”
According to dictionary.com, the definition of ‘pure hearted’ is:

(of a person) without malice, treachery, or evil intent; honest; sincere; guileless

Based on this definition, I’m not sure I’ve met anyone with a more pure heart than Sarah. She is certainly always without malice—unless your name is Steven. Then there might be a bit of evil intent in a few of her actions . . . As for the honest and sincere part, her sass level requires her to tell it like it is!


 So yes, Sarah is pure hearted right down to her knickers (sorry, I had to incorporate at least one British term into this post).


“He’ll save every one of us”
It’s clear Sarah is on a mission at FXB—to help as many people as possible. She puts her heart and soul into coaching and instructing. Even as a friend her support is never ending and is always unconditional. She will fight, just like Flash Gordon, to save every last man, woman, and child from an unhealthy lifestyle. And just like Flash Gordon, she’ll talk a little sass along the way. She might even have used one of his quotes, “This place is a lunatic asylum.” Oh, wait . . . that may have been a secret . . .


There’s only one thing Sarah may not be willing to save us from.



She’d be too busy cuddling the lot to try and save us.

I’ll end this post with a play on a popular line from the movie:

Flash, Flash, I love you! But you have less than 48 hours before you have to start saving the next round of 10-weekers!



Oh, one last thing. Flash, the sloth from Zootopia, had no role in solidifying Sarah’s nickname. None whatsoever. Honest.


~Carrie


Monday, September 19, 2016

To work out or not work out, that is the question.


Prior to today, I have had the opportunity to work out at FXB a total of 224 days since January 1st. Note: this is days and not workouts, so doubles and FIT Kicks are not included (but I will note that I’ve attended nearly all the FIT Kicks offered this year). Of those 224 days, I have worked out 217 days. Just in case you need help with this complicated math, that’s only 7 days I’ve missed since the start of the year.

Today was #8.

Before I get into why I missed today, I wanted to answer the question I’m often asked: “How do you attend so many days?”

Well, for starters, I don’t travel much. Of the 7 days I missed (prior to today), 3 were for vacation and I worked out in the hotel fitness room each day. Of the remaining 4 days missed: I was in Indy for 2 of the days over New Year’s, another was a Saturday when I had an author fair to attend in Madison, and the last was the day after my daughter had nine 10-year-olds sleep over for her birthday. It’s also important to note I haven’t trained for anything else. No triathlons or half-marathons or extreme obstacle course races. I don’t run or bike on the side. Basically, all my workouts are at FXB and that means I don’t need to keep any reserves in the tank for other activities.

Even so, how do I do it? How do I motivate myself to work out so often? Simple—from my first day at FXB I’ve had one condition:

If I wouldn’t miss work for it, I can’t miss my workout for it.

When I worked outside the home, I was a pretty dependable employee. I rarely missed a day of work, so I figured this would be a good metric for my workouts. As you can see by my numbers, it has served me well. It has forced me to stop and think each time I want to skip a workout. Because there are days I want to skip. I am human, after all. But the expectation I placed on myself since day one makes me stop and consider why I want to miss the workout and if it’s really worth it. It forces me to question whether or not it benefits my long-term goal. If you’ve been around my blog awhile, then you know that a key part of my long-term goal is being able to sustain over time. I knew I needed to draw a line I could stick to for when I could miss a workout. Otherwise, I’d find an excuse to skip every time my eye twitched.

The need to have a sustainable plan is what drove me to skip the workout today. Basically, I needed to acknowledge that my body needed a break. More specifically, my knee needed a break. I might be too stubborn to learn a lesson when I need to sometimes, but at least I’m quick to learn not to make the same mistake a second time. Last year I tried to keep pushing when I hurt my foot, thinking I could just ‘go easy’ during the workouts. That resulted in me having to sit out completely (from everything) for about two weeks. I know my bum knee well enough to know if I push it too hard I’ll be out for a lot longer than just two weeks.

I had to listen to my body and pay attention to the signs. When I had to leave the mat during FIT Kick this past Saturday, I knew it was time to stop being stubborn. So today made day #8 missed during 2016. I also adjusted a few things around the house. For example, I’ve stopped chasing our new puppy up and down the stairs several times a day. Now I just close all the bedroom doors and call to her from downstairs. It’s a good opportunity for me to work on some of her behavioral commands. It also helps that she is now almost fully potty-trained, and I don’t have to worry about her making a mess upstairs without my knowledge.


If you’re struggling with finding the motivation to work out on a regular basis, then here’s my advice:
  1. Understand your long-term goal.
  2. Acknowledge your weaknesses.
  3. Establish a set of realistic expectations to help you achieve your long-term goal.
  4. Commit.


Sounds pretty basic, right? Well, I’ve been around this fitness thing long enough to know it sounds a lot easier than it is. Most of us understand we need to eat healthy and work out regularly to maintain a healthy life-style. But that’s easy to forget when we hit a bump in the road. The bumps that say, “It’s OK to miss the workout, right? It won’t hurt anything will it?” Having a line drawn that’s built around your long-term goal and your weaknesses will help you determine if it is OK (or even necessary) to skip the workout. And do it now. Don’t wait for next week or tomorrow. Draw your line now and get to work.

Oh, if it helps you can adopt a motto. Personal mottos are always motivating.



~Carrie


Tuesday, September 13, 2016

The importance of having a fitness family.

Left: September 13, 2014
Right: September 13, 2016

Over the years, I’ve participated in many different workout programs. I’ve done solo workouts in the home, one-on-one sessions with a personal trainer, and classes at the local gym. Two years ago to the day, I joined Farrell’s Extreme Bodyshaping (FXB). It was a nerve-wracking day for me, and you can read about it here if you haven’t already. Despite my nerves, from that very first day I knew FXB would be like nothing I had experienced before. These were not people who simply worked out together. No, they were much more than that.

They were a family.

In the two years I’ve been at FXB, I’ve learned that having a fitness family is one of the most critical components of being able to sustain progress. Here are just a few resons why I’m so thankful for my FXB family.

They share my sense of fashion.
FXB is the one place where I can feel good about wearing my Spandex. I may not like that it shows off every bump and lump, but wearing it says I came to work. The fact that the vast majority of everyone else is wearing it too makes it even easier.

Beyond the active wear, we also share the same love of accessories—from the headbands to the Fitbits. Oh, and the sweat. Can’t forget about the sweat. At FXB sweat is the new black, and I rock it during every workout!

They speak my language.
It’s important to have someone who you can confide in for all aspects of your life. My non-FXB friends don’t understand my love/hate relationship with Sally. Or why I’m toast after 45 minutes of straight density sets. But my FXB family gets it. They share my lingo. And my pain.

They hug me even when I stink.
I often see a friend as I’m leaving the mat, getting ready to hit their own workout. It always amazes me when they are willing to give me a hug even though every square inch of me is dripping in Liquid Awesome. And to be clear, my form of Liquid Awesome does not smell like roses. My husband and daughter won’t even come within 50 feet of me when I get back from the gym. But my FXB family is willing to get up close and personal even when I’ve got my stink on. Now that’s #Friendship.

They know when to call bullshit.
I may think I’m too tired to push harder. I may think I’m too weak to do my push-ups from my toes. I may not think I can run the rest of the way in. But my FXB family knows better. They know when to call bullshit. And they know how to give me the right kind of motivation to tell my inner voice to shut it.

They always have my back.
No matter what, I know my FXB family will be there to support me. Time and time again, they have shown me they will not let me travel on this journey alone. They help pick me up when I fall down. They keep me focused on what’s important. They give me unconditional support and a never-ending stream of encouragement. I can only hope I am repaying them in kind.

So here’s to you, my wonderful FXB family. I can’t wait to see what the next year will bring!


~Carrie